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All Pinzur, All The Time

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Social Darwinism continues to glow, and me without my fork

A man in the Taipei Zoo hopped the fence and jumped into the Lion exhibit. With his hands raised he tried to convert the two Lions to Christianity. Lions. Lions. Big mane, sharp teeth, tails, big paws, and, oh yeah, the King of the friggin' Jungle. How derranged must you really be to try and convert lions to Christianity? I thought the crusades were over. I know jihad is still going on in the Middle East by blowing yourself up in the name of God. But converting lions to Christianity? I believe they enjoy eating meat on Fridays, so you can count them out. Also, and this is one of my favorite parts, the lions had been fed earlier in the day, had they not the man would have gotten more than a lion bite on his leg.

Also, remember when you were a kid and someone would bite, and that was considered wussy (see Mike Tyson), how come when a lion bites you, it isnt? Do they not have to go back to the pride knowing that the lionesses will be looking at him differently since he bit the derranged lunatic versus beating him up Simba-Style? Anyways....

And for a closer insight we go to our NBA correspondent, Allen Iverson,
"Allen, what do you think of the situation?"
"We're talking about an animal. Not a human, not a human. We're talking about an animal."
"Ok, thanks for the insight."

Check out the lion converting story

2 Comments:

  • F'n people. They're everywhere. And that includes Iverson.

    By Blogger Kate the Peon, at 12:01 PM  

  • whuuu??

    too bad he survived. would have been more satisfying if he'd been gobbled up.

    By Blogger Sloth, at 10:58 AM  

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