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All Pinzur, All The Time

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Walkin' in Memphis

Lady Pinz and I are going to be in Memphis for about 26 hours later this month attending my friend's wedding. We fly in Saturday morning, fly back Sunday morning. That's going to leave us about four to six hours to kill on Saturday afternoon before we need to get clean, get dressed and get to the wedding.

My natural inclination is to go to Graceland, because it seems like the sort of place I ought to see, and when the hell else am I going to be in Memphis.

But, frankly, this description doesn't make me think it's worth $40 a couple:

Just outside the ticket office is a shuttle to take guests across Elvis Presley Boulevard to enter Elvis' 14-acre estate. With the new digital audio guide featuring the voices of Lisa Marie and Elvis, guests enjoy a specially produced audio tour presentation and even more information on specific exhibits and items of interest. (I have to pay to listen to Lisa Marie? I won't even listen to her for free on the radio.)

The mansion tour consists of the living room, music room, Elvis' parents' bedroom, the dining room, kitchen, TV room, pool room, and “jungle” den in the main house, and, behind the house, Elvis’ racquetball building and his original business office. (Second reference in this post to the Marc Cohn song: "There's a pretty little thing, waiting for the King, down in the Jungle Room.")

Recently opened was a section of the mansion that was previously closed to the public. The tour now includes never-before-seen items like the desk from Elvis’ personal office and an extensive collection of his stage costumes.

The highlight of the mansion tour is Elvis’ trophy building, which houses his enormous collection of gold records and awards, along with an extensive display of career mementos, stage costumes, jewelry, photographs, and much more. The tour ends with a quiet visit to the Meditation Garden, where Elvis and members of his family have been laid to rest. Shuttles return guests to the plaza. The tour lasts approximately 60-90 minutes.

So maybe we need alternatives.

Possibly the National Civil Rights Museum, which would be a laudable destination but sounds a little too heavy to pack between a flight, a wedding and another flight.

There's also something called Mud Island, which appears to be cooler than its name suggests (though not as girl-on-girl-wrestling dirty as I'd hoped):

The River Walk is one of the most unique representations of the Mississippi River in the world. It is a 5-block long replica of the lower Mississippi river, from Cairo, IL, to New Orleans, LA. Each 30" stride is equivalent to one mile on the actual river. Along your journey, you'll revisit historical events and learn about geographical transformations.

The "1,000" mile journey concludes at the Gulf of Mexico, a one acre enclosure that holds 1.3 million gallons of water. There, visitors can enjoy a leisurely pedal boat ride around the Gulf area with the Memphis skyline in the background.

It also has two restaurants, and I wouldn't mind being able to tell people I ate at Mud Island, but the menu doesn't have any cleverly named food like MudBurgers or DirtDogs, so maybe not.

I also might try to find a barbque joint where my dad once went for ribs. It's evidently in a pretty dicey area, and he had to argue with the waitress for 10 minutes because the place had an unwritten policy against serving the hottest sauce to white people. So that would be cool.

Any other suggestions?


  • Drum roll please.....I suggest that Lady Pinz sit on Big Pinz for a couple hours. Great way to pass the time and at least you can tell your friends you did it in Memphis. (A.K.A. Lady Pinz)

    By Blogger Lady Pinz, at 1:48 PM  

  • I am the luckiest man on earth.

    By Blogger Big Pinz, at 3:29 PM  

  • I was gonna come here and try to give serious advice on Memphis.

    Then I read those comments.

    And, suddenly, I'm not comfortable giving you advice.

    Or talking to you.

    Either of you.

    By Blogger LiAps, at 10:25 PM  

  • Hahaha!! LiAps feels squicky!!

    By Blogger Sloth, at 9:04 AM  

  • Notwithstanding Lady Pinz's thoughts, I believe you guys SHOULD, in fact, visit Graceland.

    And once you're in the Meditation Garden, while standing over Elvis' headstone, do a nice harmonized rendition of "Heartbreak Hotel." Remember that it's important to get the harmonies just right.

    By Blogger Medium Ray, at 12:55 PM  

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