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All Pinzur, All The Time

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Our neighbors to the north

Just for the record, LiAps insists he is not having sex with any Canadian women, including Samantha Bee.

That means there are all kinds of hot (and probably very submissive) women with whom LiAps is not engaging in carnal knowledge.

Just thought you should all know.



    Not, "How dare you share the (non)intimate details of my (non)sex life with the world," but, "How dare you reference me and (non) sex with Canadian women without linking to a picture of Elisha Cuthbert!!!"

    You should be ashamed of yourself.

    By Blogger LiAps, at 4:24 PM  

  • I've told Pup this, but ya'll should know too - the banter between you boys is really amusing to me. You can tell there's genuine friendship there beneath the shit tossing. Thanks for letting others have a peek.

    By Blogger Kate the Peon, at 4:37 PM  

  • I made that up. I have no idea who these people are.

    BY the way, Out of your mind man! Canucks are HOT! One quick example that comes to mind. Sarah Polley.


    By Blogger Pup, at 5:01 PM  

  • ATTENTION ALL HANDS: Elisha Cuthbert is not really that hot. I'm sorry. She's just not. That is all.

    By Blogger Big Pinz, at 5:01 PM  

  • I agree with Pup that there are many hot Mountie-nation chicks: Neve Campbell, Jill Hennessy, Shania Twain... and many other cool ones: Sarah McLachlan, Jennifer Tilly, Catherine O'Hara, Margaret Atwood.

    But not Cuthbert. Sorry.

    By Blogger Big Pinz, at 5:05 PM  

  • Just because you have something against blondes, jackass, doesn't mean you can deny scientifically verifiable hotness!

    Go ahead - ask some scientists. I bet 3 out of 4 say she's hot. And the fourth is probably the brother of the dentist who doesn't recommend Trident. That family has issues.

    By Blogger LiAps, at 5:05 PM  

  • LiAps appears to have a point... I didn't list any blondes there. Nonetheless, I have grown in my ability to recognize hotness (hottitude?) in blondes... just not in Cuthbert.

    By Blogger Big Pinz, at 5:06 PM  

  • KtP: It's not the years, it's the mileage.

    By Blogger Big Pinz, at 5:09 PM  

  • Oh.. I want to be one of those doctors that they survey!

    Sorry LiAps, but I'm going with the Pinz here. Cuthbert looks a bit odd. She would not be the reason to exclude our lady canucks. Sure she's got a kicking body, but she looks a bit strange. Like when you first wake up after a good night of power drinking and you look at the face next sleeping next to you. WTF?

    Now you'll have to find 3 other doctors to oppose this opinion.

    Any of you watch that new show 'committed'? Now the main girl is HOT.

    By Blogger Pup, at 10:13 AM  

  • I've been asked to chime in on this discussion, as I am a scientist, and am qualifed to determine the Level of Hotness (LoH) of any person, male or female.

    Initial investigation of Elisha Cuthbert consisted of clicking on the link provided. The photograph was deemed "eh" on a scale of "MYEYES! MY EYES!" to "OHMYFUCKINGGOD"

    However, a good search revealed this site, where she was immediately upgraded to a "yeah, I'd TOTALLY do her if I were a lesbian" on the scale.

    final analysis: yes, she's hot.

    I hope I was helpful.

    By Blogger evilsciencechick, at 10:14 AM  

  • Well, now that we have had meaningless drivel between LiAps and Big Pinz, I thought it only appropriate that Little Pinz add his two cents. Cuthbert is ok. A little too, she looks like a lot of attractive blondes, nothing all that exciting. I think the average blond is attractive, but when a brunette is attractive, sheis much hotter. Brunettes will always beat out blondes in Little Pinz's demented world. SPORTS FANS, read my new blog, www.pinzusports.blogspot.com

    By Blogger Little Pinz, at 10:19 AM  

  • OK - neither Li'l nor Big Pinz's opinions count, as they are not scientists. Pup, while technically a "doctor," I don't think qualifies as a scientist either. (Hell, I'm technically a "doctor" as well).

    So, the only true scientist is with me.

    And, scientific qualifications aside, knowing Pup's and the Pinzes' history with women, I'd go with Bunsen/ESC every time.

    By Blogger LiAps, at 10:43 AM  

  • My dubious pre-Lady-Pinz history aside, I've got to get some qualification points for being the only one in this discussion married to a woman (and, at that, a hot one).

    By Blogger Big Pinz, at 11:13 AM  

  • Hmmm....I think Big Pinz, Little Pinz and the man known simply as Pup, deserve more credit than the a certain person with a "friend" name "Paralegal".

    By Blogger Little Pinz, at 1:12 PM  

  • I was leaving Lady Pinz out of this. If I imply she's not hot, I become that friend of yours she won't let you hang out with. And if I agree she's hot, I become that guy who wants your wife. And god forbid she should know that, because once the ladies know LiAps is down, they can't help themselves.

    Li'l Pinz - that whole paralegal thing is ancient history. She neither works at my firm nor sleeps in my bed anymore. No cause/effect relationship between the 2, I assure you.

    By Blogger LiAps, at 2:02 PM  

  • Yeah, buddy. I'm often kept awake nights wondering how long it will be until Lady Pinz leaves me to become Lady LiAps.

    Because we all know: Once they go LiAps...

    ... they eventually go back.

    By Blogger Big Pinz, at 3:35 PM  

  • OOOhhh....Mark one for Big Pinzur.....


    This is going to be as annoying as GoldenPalace.com's nude streakers....

    By Blogger Little Pinz, at 5:16 PM  

  • Upon further review (thanks to EvilScienceChick), I am offically reversing my previous call that Cuthbert is not attractive. She is indeed one hottie.

    However, the second ruling that she is not hot enough to give up all Canadian women as a whole still stands.

    So in review, she is hot, but not more than all Canadian women put together.

    This is off setting calls, so LiAps will NOT be charged a time out.

    By Blogger Pup, at 5:47 PM  

  • Dude. You misunderstand the situation. Cuthbert is a fucking Canuck. She is BOTH Canadian AND hot. Which, somehow, means I totally win. Cause, you know, I'm kinda banging her. In my dreams.

    By Blogger LiAps, at 5:54 PM  

  • OH... well hell. None of this makes sense then.

    By Blogger Pup, at 8:51 AM  

  • Dedicated to Joe Horn:
    Little Pinz has lost all interest in these conversations. But, Little Pinz needs to remind everyone that to Pup, 2+2=Jello. Little Pinz thinks that Cuthbert is not ugly, but not on the amazing, Heidi Klum-Tyra Banks level.

    By Blogger Little Pinz, at 1:43 PM  

  • I don't think 2+2 = Jello. 4+4 = Jello. Duh. At least that's better than getting your freak-on on a Wednesday night at 2 in the morning. IS it yo birthday? Did you get a raise?

    Get yo ass home and take care of yo kids before they rob me in 10 years.

    I didn't say Cuthbert was amazing. Simply that she's not bad looking.

    BTW, no one is on Heidi's level. She is HOT beyond all comprehension or any arguments.

    By Blogger Pup, at 2:27 PM  

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