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All Pinzur, All The Time

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Who is this guy?

Some guy has made a niche writing hilarious product reviews on Amazon. I urge you to read them here. Among my favorites:

- For pink "breast-cancer awareness" Post-Its: After someone gave me these Post-It notes, I became aware of the terrible disease known as breast cancer. Prior to using the notes, it had not occurred to me that oncogenes might have a special scourge for the ladies (and some feminine men, too!). Now that I know, I will not make any more loud jokes at the bar about how lucky chicks are not to have prostates, and how I wish they had a cancer of their very own like men do! I guess that the existence of breast cancer finally explains why those jokes usually fell flat. Thank you, 3M, for making me aware of this insiduous disease.

- For Anal-Eze lube:Anal Eze is fantastic! First of all, it is strawberry flavored. I was concerned that my anal lube would not be flavored and therefore I would not get to enjoy the taste of artificially flavored lube tinged with fecal matter.
The second selling point of Anal Eze is that no batteries are required. This is excellent, since lubricants that require batteries tend to be painful on the sensitive genital regions. Electricity doesn't mix well with nuts.
Finally, I love that Anal Eze has a desensitizing agent. It makes it possible for me to use Anal Eze in my torture dungeon without my victims complaining too much. It also helps to numb my tongue so the chunks in the fecal-lube mixture are not so objectionable.

For Hebrew National Beef Franks In A Blanket:I thought Hebrews weren't allowed to have their franks in a blanket. Isn't that what the bris is all about?

Good stuff.

By the way, pictures and stories from our trek through Graceland and Mud Island coming later this week.


  • They sell Anal-Eze on Amazon?? Man, why have I been going to CRAZY FANTASY XXX on 6th Ave. all these years?

    By Blogger LiAps, at 11:25 AM  

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