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All Pinzur, All The Time

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Good investment

Anyone want to guess how much this guy is going to be offerred for his web site in the next few days?

I'm still here...

... and slowly returning to the blogosphere.

My recent absence can largely be blamed on, what else, hurricane season. The Herald sent me up to Jacksonville, my old turf, to cover Hurricane Jeanne. I spent some of that time down in Melbourne, where the damage was pretty serious. I took a few digital pictures, which I'll try and post this weekend.

The worst I saw was a young couple who own an organic grocey store and cafe in a strip mall. The front of their store is floor-to-ceiling windows, which they covered with plywood. But the storm was so strong that it yanked the metal window frames away from the building's steel skeleton. The result: half the store's front walls were laying the parking lot. The worst part was that the only reason the other walls stayed standing was because they had just been installed - replaced after THEY were totalled in Hurricane Frances. They spent around $50,000 cleaning up and replacing inventory from that one, and expected Jeanne's tab to be just as high.

I actually drove through some of the storm's outer bands, getting knocked around I-95 in wind gusts of 50 to 60 mph. A few scary moments, but you haven't known driving freedom until you've done it in a rented SUV with full insurance coverage paid by the company.

We're also in Security Hell here in Miami today. Obviously, we've got the presidential debate at University of Miami, so the city is crawling with Secret Service. We've been seeing Army choppers (Chinooks, I think) flying all over the Dade and Broward County airspace. And, just a few blocks away from the debate site, the Herald is hosting its annual Americas Conference, which includes presidents and prime ministers from many Central American, South American and Caribbean nations.

Hopefully, the world around South Florida will return to normal (as normal as Florida gets) next week.

Friday, September 24, 2004

If there is a Jewish Conspiracy to takeover the world, can I get in on some of that action?

Due to pressure from Jewish groups, Wal-Mart has stopped selling an anti-semetic book called, "The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion". All about how there is some worldwide conspiracy by Jews to takeover the world, a la"Pinky and the Brain" from the "Animaniacs". If there is a real worldwide conspiracy by Jews to takeover the world with a world population of three, I am so in. Just let me know where I should sign up. I tried using www.jew.com but that did not work. Anyone else have any ideas?

EBay Links can be fun

Check out this Ebay Link

This one is almost as funny as the guy who put on his ex-wife's wedding dress...not quite, but still way up there. Also, the bitterness with this guy ranks right up there on a typical level that we love to laugh at. So if you love hearing a dude completely make fun of his ex-wife, this is the link for you. Smell you later.

Little Pinz

Monday, September 20, 2004


Hurricane season in Florida hit the pause button long enough for Lady Pinz and me to get to Chicago over the weekend, where we had ample time to hang out with the parents and the extended family, including the two cousins each getting married in the next six months.

But my story this morning concerns our return to rainy South Florida. As I was getting on I-95 to drive back to our new condo late last night, I noticed about a three-inch lizard on my driver's-side side-view mirror. I figured it was going to have some serious survival issues over the next few minutes.

As I sped onto the highway, I was surprised to see the little guy hanging on. Yeah, he was shaking around a lot and fluttering the windshear, but the punk was hanging on at 75 mph.

It's a good 20-mile drive from downtown Miami to our neighborhood, and the lizard held on the entire time. A few times his back feet were flapping in the wind and I figured he was done for (don't actually know it's a he; I respected its privacy) but he managed to hang on.

I tried taking a couple of pictures with my cellphone, but it was dark and I was, y'know, driving, so they didn't really come out.

It wouldn't have suprised me so much on the windshield, where the motion would have kept him plastered. This was on the mirror, where he should've been thrown off. But when I pulled into the parking lot, he was still there, just chilling.

The fact that this comes in the midst of an innocuous (but stupid) Geico ad campaign with their gecko mascot hanging out in the passenger seat of a car is just gravy.

So this morning, we at All Pinzur, All The Time salute you, tenacious lizard dude. Godspeed.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

A New Low

When it comes to former child stars, the bar for acceptable behavior is pretty low. Thankfully, there's always someone to knock it a rung or three lower.

Former Growing Pains star Tracey Gold, aka Middle Sister Carol, was arrested for DUI in California.

How can that compete with any given Diff'rent Strokes cast member?

She was driving drunk (allegedly) with her husband and THREE YOUNG CHILDREN in the car - almost alll of whom were injured when she flipped their SUV.

Makes you long for the good old days when former child stars only injured themselves. Those kids on Everybody Loves Raymond better take heed.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Happy Dance!

I feel badly for the folks in the Florida Panhandle or elsewhere on the Gulf Coast who are going to take the brunt of Hurricane Ivan.

That being said - IT'S NOT HITTING US!!


I have several theories on why the Hurricane took a sudden and unexpected jog to the west:

- If it hit South Florida, we would likely have been forced out of flying to Chicago to see my family for Rosh Hashana. This would have angered Mama Pinz enough to put some serious fear into even the heartiest of hurricanes.

- In hurricane culture, it's no fun to smack around people who haven't recovered from the last one. If people are already without power, roofs and D batteries, what's the use in hitting?

- Our lead hurricane reporter, who hasn't had a day off in about a month, used his influence at the National Hurricane Center, which, we all know, controls where the hurricanes go.

Other theories? Post your favorite in the comments section.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

The Big One

Blogging from South Florida will likely be on a freeze for the next three to five days. Hurricane Ivan, stronger than either Charley or Frances, is now forecast to hit us pretty much dead-on. The long-term forecasts have a big margin of error, but this is still awfully scary.

One of my coworkers told me a bone-chilling story today about how she was hit by Hurricane Andrew in 1992 - it destroyed the home she had bought three weeks earlier. So we're pretty petrified.


It looks a tiny bit better this afternoon, at least for Miami. We're still bracing ourselves for a wallop, but there's a glimmer of hope.

Notice the black dots are a little further west. But those black dots are, at best, educated guesses until a day or two before it hits. Also, those dots are just the eye of the storm - the bad weather extends 100 miles or more from that center.

So we wait...

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Hurricanes 3, Big Pinz 0

Well, I've officially cancelled my plans to speak at a conference in Lousiville this weekend thanks the an ominous long-range forecast on Hurricane Ivan. I was really looking foward to it, but I can't risk being stuck in Louisville for an extended period or being away from the newspaper if the storm hits here.

For those keeping score:

Charley: Forces Big Pinz to cancel vacation to Vegas
Frances: Totally screws up Big Pinz and Lady Pinz move to new condo
Ivan: Forces Big Pinz to cancel speaking engagement in Lousiville.

Now I know how the Clippers feel.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

And the hits just keep on coming...

Well, we survived Hurricane Frances largely intact. No damage to our new condo, thankfully, but we had no water for about 24 hours while we were trying to move. We're now basically moved in, but the place is still a wreck of boxes and miscellany, and we have yet to get phone or cable/satellite service.

To top it all off, another big hurricane is heading our way and could be here this weekend. So after Charley cancelled my vacation to Vegas and Frances severely messed up our move, Ivan may force me to cancel a speaking engagement at a journalism conference this weekend.

Normal blogging will resume... eventually.

Florida: Paradise, with 100-mph winds.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Frances: The Bitch of 2004

Just a quick post to let everyone know we're AOK and riding out Frances. The movers came on Thursday morning... 15 minutes into offloading stuff into our new condo, the maintenance crew put up hurricane shutters - the movers had to use the back door to get everything delivered. We had to evacuate shortly thereafter. Made it back for a few hours yesterday to get some unpacking done, but have otherwise been riding it out at our friends' house about 10 miles west.

Truth is, we're not getting the brunt here. Frances has stalled, so we've been getting heavy rain and rough wind for five or six hours and are supposed to keep getting it all night, but it's going to be much worse about an hour north of here.

We hope to be able to go to our new home tomorrow to really start moving in. Thanks to everyone checking in on us.